


lie with me

by pastelhajime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:21:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9275882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelhajime/pseuds/pastelhajime
Summary: "Kuroo-san," Akaashi pulled away, eyes wide and chest heaving and lips swollen and absolutely gorgeous. "We need to stop."Kuroo shook his head and pressed his lips to Akaashi earlobe, making the other boy shiver in delight. "Just this night." He muttered in between kisses. "Just lie with me, one last night."And so Akaashi closed his eyes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> for gina!!! ilysm sunshine i hope u enjoy this fic uwu
> 
> twitter: rosejihoons ❤️

It all started with a drink.

Akaashi hadn't meant for it to happen—he was just going to get another drink. For Bokuto, not himself. Even if it was his own birthday.

He didn't mean to bump into the handsome stranger, and spill the drink down his shirt. He didn't mean to gasp at how _amazing_ his voice sounded when the stranger spilled a long line of curses. And he really, really didn't mean for them to end up under the sheets in his room, Bokuto's drink long forgotten.

Akaashi hadn't meant for it happen—but there he was, dialling Kuroo's number to ask when he was free next, and who's house, his or Akaashi's.

\------------

"Hello, Akaashi." The waitress grinned. He'd stopped by this cafe so many times that all the staff knew his name, but he didn't really mind it. "Will it be the usual again?"

Akaashi took off his coat and hung it on his chair, nodding. "Yeah, thanks." He flashed her a quick smile, before closing his eyes and sighing.

Being with Kuroo meant he couldn't tell anyone, ever. Because, beside the fact that Akaashi wasn't even out yet, Kuroo was Bokuto's best friend in the whole world. He knew the fact would crush Bokuto, and he couldn't stand that.

 _Bokuto-san's weakness #40_ , he noted to himself as the waitress brought him his coffee. _He's a sensitive fuck who probably likes Kuroo more than I do._

Deep down, he knew that it wasn't Bokuto's fault. It wasn't Bokuto's fault that almost every day, after both Kuroo and Akaashi had finished their classes, Akaashi would find himself with Kuroo, skin on skin, lips on lips, lips on skin. And it really wasn't Bokuto's fault that after it was over, Akaashi would find himself with his eyes wide open as Kuroo slept, wondering why he was such a mess.

Akaashi sighed and took a sip of his coffee, the caffeine giving him fleeting peace of mind. Opening his eyes, he looked around at his surroundings again. The cafe was quiet and mostly empty apart from the old couple sitting by the window, feeding each other cake of some sort.

The raven haired boy smiled. He liked to think that someday, he'd be doing that with someone as well.

"Hey," Akaashi heard a voice behind him rasp, and he didn't even need to turn around to see who it was. "Thinking of me again?"

Before Akaashi could even respond, Kuroo was pulling up a chair and sitting at the younger boy's table, smirk wider than ever. Akaashi swallowed thickly. "Kuroo-san."

"No need to be so formal," Kuroo leered. "After all, we are closer than acquaintances, no?"

Akaashi didn't answer, instead looked down at his drink as Kuroo pulled out a cigarette and lit absentmindedly. He tried to ignore the shit-eating grin the other boy had on his face, but it was hard when, even when he closed his eyes, it was all he could see.

"So," Kuroo tapped the ash from his cigarette onto an ashtray in the middle of the coffee table. "Are we doing this or not?"

\-------  
"Kuroo-san—"

"I got you, Akaashi."

"I can't—"

"It's okay. Just let go."

\-----------

For what felt like the millionth time that month, Akaashi found himself lying in Kuroo's bed, under the sheets, and staring at the ceiling, panting heavily.

A rustle filled the otherwise empty room, followed by Kuroo's voice. "Akaashi, I'm just going to the toilet, okay?"

Akaashi didn't answer, just closed his eyes. "Akaashi?"

The raven haired boy listened as Kuroo got out of bed and padded across the wooden floor. He waited until the older boy mumbled, "Must be asleep," before getting up in bed.

Walking over to the window, Akaashi drew the curtains open. He sighed as soft moonlight streaked in through the moonlight, illuminating his skin as if it were glowing. Every freckle, every beauty spot, seem to shine under the stars, and Akaashi brought his hand to his neck, gently caressing the skin there.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear when Kuroo came out of the bathroom, jumping when he whispered, "So, you weren't really asleep, were you?"

Akaashi swallowed, before looking down. "Kuroo-san,"

"Akaashi," Kuroo walked towards the other boy, not noticing Akaashi's breath quicken. "I've been meaning to ask you—"

But when Kuroo touched his shoulder, Akaashi turned to face him, and Kuroo saw pain like he'd never seen before.

Akaashi wasn't crying, but his eyes were so full of heavy emotion, that Kuroo himself could feel the weight of it. His hair was messy and tousled, and his bare chest seemed to be carrying a lot more than it could. Kuroo's eyes widened, and Akaashi looked to the floor.

"Akaashi," Kuroo croaked. "Are you okay?"

"It's such a pretty night," Akaashi turned back to the window, smiling softly. "It's a shame I feel this way."

Kuroo swallowed. "Feel what way?"

Akaashi waved his arms around randomly. "I don't know—tired, I guess. Drained of energy. Just—done."

"Is it my fault?" Neither boy mentioned how forcefully Kuroo's voice was shaking. "Did I do something?"

Akaashi smiled, and brought a hand to Kuroo's chest, aimlessly tracing circles. Kuroo closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "Don't say that," Akaashi murmured softly, eyes drooping shut. "Don't ever say that."

"Then what?" Kuroo's question came out like a cry, and Akaashi felt a tinge of hurt twist painfully in his stomach. "Why can't I help you, Akaashi?"

"Because," Akaashi's expression turned sorrowful and he took his hands away from Kuroo. "It's all my fault."

"You haven't done anything, Akaashi." Kuroo knew he sounded desperate, but he needed Akaashi to be okay.

Akaashi turned to the window. "I didn't even finish explaining and you're jumping to conclusions."

"You don't need to," Kuroo turned Akaashi around softly and took his smaller hands in his larger ones. Akaashi sucked in a breath. "I already know that you're not the person to do something wrong. It's just who you are."

Akaashi closed his eyes. "It's Bokuto-san."

Kuroo took a step back, instantly paling. "What is it? Is he hurt?"

"No, no, he's fine," Akaashi sighed deeply. "I just haven't told him about...you know?"

Kuroo frowned. "No, I don't."

Akaashi rolled his eyes. "Us. I haven't told him about us."

"Right," Kuroo looked down. Then, in a small voice, he added, "What are we?"

"Please don't start this," Akaashi pleaded. "Not now, at least."

"Then when?" Kuroo whispered, eyes wide and afraid, tears welling up faster than he would have liked. "When are we supposed to start this?"

Akaashi couldn't help but pity the older boy. He'd held himself together for so long, just for Akaashi, and now the younger was watching him unravel before his own eyes. "Kuroo-san—"

"Listen to me, Akaashi." There was a new seriousness in Kuroo's eyes. "If we don't do this now, we may never know how much we really mean to each other. I mean, goddammit, Akaashi," Kuroo ran a hand through his hair and laughed weakly. "I want to be able to spoil you and hold your hand and kiss you and tell everyone that you're my boyfriend, you know?" The laugh died on Kuroo's lips. "But I don't know if you want that too."

Akaashi' eyes widened. "You want—to be my boyfriend?" Kuroo rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Akaashi, I do." Kuroo huffed exasperated. "Is that so hard to believe?"

Tears welled up in Akaashi's eyes and he looped his arms around Kuroo's neck, burying his face in the crook of his collarbone. They spilled out onto the other boy's soft skin as said boy wrapped his arms around Akaashi's waist, anchoring them in that position.

"I really want to be your boyfriend," Kuroo whispered into Akaashi's hair. "I really, really do."

Akaashi nuzzled Kuroo's collarbone softly before pulling away, eyes red. Kuroo knew that, years from now, he'd always remember Akaashi looking like this. "I'm sorry, Kuroo-san."

Silent tears streaked down Kuroo's ashen face. "W-What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean," Akaashi looked Kuroo up and down, before meeting Kuroo's eyes. "I can't do it."

"But why?" Kuroo spluttered, desperation and fear laced in his voice. "We're so good together, Akaashi,—" His voice dropped a few notches. "—we can't lose this."

Akaashi shook his head, welling up again. "I'm sorry, Kuroo-san."

"At least tell me why, Akaashi." Kuroo murmured, running a hand through his hair. "I-I need to know why."

Akaashi smiled sadly. "I think you know already."

"It's Bokuto," Kuroo sighed. "You're doing this for him."

"I can't hurt him like this, Kuroo-san." Akaashi muttered, looking at the floor. "It's just cruel."

"What if I did it?" Kuroo suggested, hopefulness hinted in his voice. "What if I told him, and then you wouldn't get any blame, and—"

"I can't do that," Akaashi shook his head. "I can't let you take the blame either."

Wordlessly, Kuroo walked towards Akaashi and pressed his lips on the other boy's. More tears spilled down Akaashi's face as he gently worked his lips against Kuroo's, wondering if he'd ever get to do it again.

Kuroo put his all into the kiss, all his fear and worry and love, and it broke his heart to have Akaashi reciprocate it. The salt lingering on his tongue from Akaashi's skin burned his senses, and he longed to get rid of it, but he didn't know how.

So he did what he could. He kissed Akaashi with all his might.

"Kuroo-san," Akaashi pulled away, eyes wide and chest heaving and lips swollen and _absolutely gorgeous_. "We need to stop."

Kuroo shook his head and pressed his lips to Akaashi earlobe, making the other boy shiver in delight. "Just this night." He muttered in between kisses. "Just lie with me, one last night."

And so Akaashi closed his eyes.

\----------

"Kuroo-san, what are you—"

"This is our last chance, Akaashi. Do you hear me? We may never get to do this again."

"But, I—"

"If you really want me to stop, then say it. Say, 'Kuroo, I want to stop', and I'll leave you alone."

"Kuroo-san..."

"What?"

"Keep going."

\------------

"So," Kuroo mumbled as Akaashi fixed his hair and headed out. "This is it, huh."

Akaashi smiled softly and gently touched Kuroo's cheek. "We both know this never ends."

"Bye, Akaashi." Kuroo felt tears in his eyes and had to look away.

Akaashi smiled at the ground. "Goodbye, Kuroo-san."


End file.
